Valerie Bertinelli Opens Up About Her Tumultuous Marriage to Eddie Van Halen: “Drugs, Alcohol, Infidelity”
When actress Valerie Bertinelli married guitar virtuoso Eddie Van Halen in 1981, their union looked like the perfect rock-and-roll fairy tale. She was America’s sweetheart from One Day at a Time. He was the guitar hero redefining rock music with Van Halen. To the outside world, it seemed like a dream match.
But behind the headlines and the glossy photos, life was far more complicated. In recent interviews and memoirs, Bertinelli has pulled back the curtain, reflecting on the love, chaos, and heartbreak that defined her 26-year marriage to the legendary musician.
A Fast and Fiery Beginning
Valerie and Eddie met when she was just 20. Within months, they were inseparable, swept up in the thrill of youth, fame, and music. The couple married in April 1981, a pairing that seemed to embody the excess and glamour of the era.
Yet Bertinelli admits now that much of what she believed at the time was a fantasy. “I fell in love with him when I was 20, and it rapidly declined into drugs and alcohol and infidelity,” she confessed. “Nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream ‘soulmate,’ that’s for sure.”
The Darker Side: Addiction and Infidelity
As Van Halen’s fame soared, so did the pressures of the rock lifestyle. Eddie battled alcohol and drug addiction throughout much of his adult life. For Valerie, living inside that storm was painful and disorienting.
“I hated the drugs and the alcohol, but I never hated him,” she once shared. “I saw his pain.”
Still, the addictions chipped away at their marriage. Infidelity followed—on both sides—deepening the cracks that had already begun to form. Bertinelli doesn’t shy away from admitting her own mistakes, saying candidly, “I wasn’t an angel either.”
What started as a whirlwind romance became a cycle of mistrust and disappointment. The fairytale image of “soulmates” collided with the reality of two people struggling with demons, both individually and together.
Lessons in Love and Regret
Even as she recounts the heartbreak, Bertinelli is careful not to villainize Eddie. Instead, she frames their story as one of imperfection and human struggle.
In her AARP interview, she admitted she often took his behavior personally—“If you love me, you wouldn’t do this”—without fully understanding how deeply his addictions were tied to trauma and coping. Looking back, she wishes she had asked more questions, shown more patience, and understood the roots of his pain.
Her honesty about regret doesn’t erase the love that remained. “I hated what the addiction did to him,” she said, “but I never stopped caring.”
The Brightest Light: Wolfgang
Through it all, one constant became the greatest gift of their marriage: their son, Wolfgang Van Halen.
“What I got out of that marriage was Wolfie, the best thing that ever happened to me,” Bertinelli has said.
Even after separating in 2001 and finalizing their divorce in 2007, Eddie and Valerie remained connected through parenthood. Wolfgang became the bridge that kept them from completely drifting apart, and toward the end of Eddie’s life, that bond grew even stronger.
Closure, Farewell, and What Remains
As Eddie battled cancer in his final years, Bertinelli was by his side. She recalled one Thanksgiving visit in 2019 when he gifted her a gold pendant, a deeply personal gesture that symbolized decades of shared history, forgiveness, and quiet love.
When he died in October 2020, she was there with Wolfgang, holding his hand. “I loved him more than I know how to explain,” she later said. “I just didn’t love the way we lived.”
A Complicated Legacy
Valerie Bertinelli’s reflections are not a bitter retelling, but a nuanced portrait of love—its illusions, its cracks, and its resilience. She rejects the notion of Eddie as her “soulmate,” not because love wasn’t there, but because the realities of addiction and infidelity overshadowed what might have been.
Yet, her story isn’t one of defeat. It’s one of growth, honesty, and clarity. Today, she honors Eddie not as the perfect partner she once imagined, but as the flawed, brilliant man he truly was—the father of her son, and someone she loved deeply, even when love wasn’t enough.
